Man plans and God Laughs

As we walk through life, with all of its unknowns and surprises, many of us can't help but plan for the future and hope for the best. As a wise friend once told me, "Man plans and God laughs." The following is an example of just that. Additionally, I have included components of an effective problem-solving tool that is a useful coaching technique as well.

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Finishing Fordham: A Student’s Quest to Finish Her Degree from South of the Mason-Dixon Line

Not long ago, a former boss underwent a triple bypass. Shocked as I was at the sudden open-heart surgery, I was more surprised to witness how calm he remained throughout the ordeal and subsequent recovery period. He called one afternoon in June to share with me the irony at finally looking at his calendar and seeing that the day he went in for the operation, he was supposed to have left for a two-week trip with his wife.

“Emily,” he said, chuckling. “One makes plans and God laughs.” I chuckled with him, enjoying the rapport with this boss and just happy that he was handling the situation so well. Little did I know that his wise words would soon touch my world in a deep and significant way.

I moved up to New York after college and planned on staying there. Jon and I spent many a cold winter’s night and hot summer evening discussing how long we would stay in the city before heading to Westchester for wide open spaces and good public schools. I left a good-paying job in the corporate world to enter graduate school, planning on leaving five years later with a few more degrees, and a career ready-made for fulfillment and flexibility.

Girl plans and God laughs.

Jon worked at Lehman Brothers for seven years before finding his passion in real estate. He moved to the Firm’s real estate arm in January 2007 and loved the work—at least until it dried up in September 2007.

“The mortgage crisis won’t last long; there’s no need to worry”, the real estate bosses said at first. We all planned on that being the case. God laughed.

“People were laid off today but it was performance-based and shouldn’t happen again,” Jon said one cold day in January.

Corporate executives made plans and God chuckled.

“Got a sec?” Jon asked over the phone two months later as I was running out the door for work on that fateful Monday in early March. “I was just laid off. It was tenure-based and I am—was—the newest member of the group. I got a great severance package and have six months to find a job. I think I want to focus on hospitality real estate groups in Manhattan.”

Man planned. Girl sighed, focused on classes and their upcoming wedding. God continued to laugh.

The mortgage crisis worsened, hitting all aspects of the economy and financial world. Jon was up to his eyeballs with city-based hotel industry contacts, all of whom told him he was a great candidate but they did not have any positions open.

We were married in May; celebrating our union with 200 of our closest friends and family. After the wedding, Jon refocused on his job search and I was finally able to concentrate on life after the wedding: coursework and a career. I was busy making long-term plans for pursuing both in Manhattan when Jon mentioned broadening his job search to the rest of the country.

Yeah right, I thought. Like we’d ever leave behind our family and friends and go somewhere else...did I just hear laughter somewhere?

As summer progressed, the possibility of moving elsewhere continued to grow. Denver…The Bahamas …Philadelphia…Atlanta. They were all thrown into the mix and I began to wonder about my plans. What about school? What about my career? Part of my rationale for leaving said corporate job was to a) pursue something I actually liked and b) be flexible enough to balance a career and children. However, I didn’t foresee being that flexible at this point. Seriously, where’s that laughter coming from?

Philly fizzled. The Bahamas never happened (much to my dismay). Denver came through though it was only for a year before coming back to New York. I could manage that, right? Atlanta came through as well but there was no time-frame for returning. Being that the latter was a better offer, Jon strongly considered accepting it.

I had begun some planning for such a scenario weeks prior when I realized that I should have a more definite plan…just in case we really had to move. With only a few classes to go for the Masters, I thought, wouldn’t it be nice if I could find a way to finish my degree with Fordham from a remote location in a timely manner?

Before moving on, I would like to take a moment and address a common theme throughout the early discussion of this situation with family and friends: I was repeatedly questioned about whether or not I would feel comfortable staying in New York to finish up the classwork for a few months while my husband went ahead to his new job location. Although some people may be okay with such an arrangement, I felt (and still feel) very strongly about us moving together. We lived on different continents for six months right after we met and I spent a subsequent year and a half finishing up college in a different state. Although I am a strong believer in the idiom “Distance makes the heart grow fonder”, I also believe that I am done with that period of our relationship. To quote Forrest Gump, “That’s all I have to say about that.”

Throughout the weeks leading up to Jon formally accepting the position, I felt a need to figure out a plan of my own, no matter what happened. Luckily, one of my Masters classes dealt with the research behind problem-solving. I applied said techniques to this quandary and started by asking myself what I could conceivably do in terms of finishing the degree. Below are a few of the options:

1) Could I work with Fordham to transfer credits or make other special arrangements?
2) Would I consider continuing/starting over at a new school?
3) What is in Atlanta that will allow credit transfers from Fordham?
4) What real-world internships are available in [Atlanta]?
5) Can I make progress from a distance (i.e., with special arrangements)?

The second step was to generate ideas for each individual’s challenge. While some suggestions were a little silly (but still valuable), many were quite feasible. Below are a few of the options I chose to look into:

1) Finish degree with Fordham using flexible scheduling
2) Figure out some potential distant grad class options/online class options

3) Find a suitable internship
4) Take a few independent studies
5) Do research at another school to make money and gain credits for transfer

6) Have Jon continue looking for NY-based jobs
7) Look into weekend classes
8) Research schools in new city to finish degree there and/or transfer credit back to Fordham

Not long after formulating this list, Jon formally accepted the Atlanta position. Having this piece of the problem solved, I felt that I had even more information at my disposal with which to work. I had spent the previous few days thinking about not only the options I believed to be the most feasible, but also those I truly wished to pursue (I did not want to push Jon into looking for only New York-based positions). At this point, I had narrowed my options down to the following four:

1) Look into a combination of distance classes/independent studies to finish classwork in the fall
2) Figure out 5-6 dates when I will be in NY throughout the fall semester and can be in

class/meet with professors
3) Look into Atlanta-based programs/schools for credit transfer
4) Research internship options for credit

I decided to actually pursue one independent study and remain in one Fordham class that would allow me flexibility in completing the majority of work outside of class time. Now that I am down in Atlanta and feel very happy with the way my courses have worked out, I still can’t help but feel sad at having left New York long before I intended. Such is life, I suppose, but at least I can plan on enjoying the remainder of my coursework from my bigger, less expensive apartment in Atlanta. That’s the plan at least.

Is that giggling I hear?
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In your own life, have you made plans for the future only to see them change due to unforeseen obstacles? How did you deal with them? Do you have any plans now that seem a little uncertain due to current issues with the economy and its impact on our daily lives? How do you plan on dealing with these issues? Feel free to send me your issues and I will compile them for a later post.