I used to be a journalist, meaning I followed the world’s news like some people follow the stock market (incidentally, I also followed financial headlines like some people follow the regular news). Perhaps I grew to be more sensitive to current events…or the number of atrocities across the continents just increased exponentially; regardless, I felt constantly barraged by stories of war, famine, terrorism and a startlingly high number of shark attacks. I decided to take a break from obsessing over CNN.com, lest I never travel or go into the ocean ever again.
After going semi-cold-turkey on my news fixation back in 2004, I found that I needed to fill my time with updates about some form of current events and it was around this time that I discovered E! Although I can easily hold a conversation with people about the latest headlines from the around the world, I’m also very happy discussing the god-awful dresses from Sunday’s Oscars.
Aside: Debbie Matenopoulos, if you ever read this and need someone to fill in for you on Fashion Police, please have your people call my people (aka, hit me up on the cell). Same thing goes for you, Giuliana Rancic and E! News.
The truth is, I used to feel somewhat ashamed of my growing interest in the world of celebrity gossip; however, I then realized that though I’ve not yet become a fan of TMZ and I do not have a subscription to US Weekly, keeping up with the latest stories from Tinseltown is my escape from reality.
On a related note, many of my friends and colleagues comment that they think I work 24-7; the truth is, I do work a lot but I have found it increasingly important that I take time away from the many emails, grad school papers, upcoming presentations and other assorted tasks on my to-do list. While I have tapped into my inner diva-wanna-be via E! and other similar outlets, I encourage everyone out there to find what it is that allows he or she to escape from reality and spend some time doing something for fun. Whether it’s a weekly golf game with buddies, shopping with friends, lounging around with a great chick novel or just catching up on American Idol, do it. Drop the ball on your work, spend some time doing something you love (even if you know it’s not the “respectable” thing to do) and take some time for yourself.
You may be wondering why a career coach would a) publically announce her love for Gossip Girl—er, I mean E! (though you now know my other form escapism) and b) encourage other people to do the same. Here’s why: letting work go for awhile and doing something that you enjoy will relax you…and your overworked brain/body. The result? You’ll return to reality with more energy and a brain ready to tackle your to-do list with a renewed sense of vigor.
In the end, all those tasks on your list will be met and accomplished from a healthier mindset…and you’ll still be spending some time doing a few things you truly love to do.
Now for the big question—does anyone else think that Angelina Jolie’s dress at the Oscars was awesome, while Jennifer Aniston’s looked like a four-year-old attacked it with a glitter pen?
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Why else could taking time for your favorite activities be beneficial? What do you like to do to blow off some steam? What changes do you notice when you do and do not take the necessary breaks from work?
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Pressure Cooker
In the last few months, I have thought an awful lot about the definition of success. Sadly, the internal discussion has resulted in an increase of stress in my external life. I am writing today's post to clear up my own thoughts on success and perhaps gauge yours as well.
It seems to me that some people believe success is based on one's net worth. "Oh, sure, of course he's successful--have you seen his house? And he drives a Bentley!" Externally, a person who fits this quick description would appear to be successful, correct? Perhaps he (or she) also believes himself to be successful...until he considers the rest of his life and how he would trade at least some of the "benjamins in his bank account" (that could be a rap song) to find a lasting relationship.
Actually, I could list other various definitions of success but have decided to stick with the financial one for now. I was thinking last week about a colleague's ideas on success. She is interested in working with people who meet her financial measuring stick (in this case, the clients must make at least a million dollars). Perhaps I'm simply jealous that I can't be a client (kidding!) but this irks me for some reason. I spent a few days in the last month trying to pinpoint my issues with this particular person's business plan and it hit me one night: she views success in such a one-dimensional way and the fact is, that so many hard-working individuals who are successful in their own right would not even be considered for my colleague’s consulting firm. Now, I understand from an entrepreneurial perspective that a business person has a right to choose his or her own niche, but I do believe the defining success solely on a person’s bank account just seems downright harsh.
The truth is, success is relative—relative to each person’s unique situation, characteristics, experiences and goals. My definition of success will not be the same as yours, or the guy in the car next to you or the woman sitting at the table next to you at dinner on Saturday night. However, that’s what makes each of us exceptional —my goals are unique to me and my life but as long as I strive to accomplish those goals, I am successful. That’s correct: “so long as I strive”, as opposed to “so long as I reach” those goals is exactly what I meant to type. Perhaps this is only my opinion (again, a belief relative to my own perspective), but success is not necessarily about actually BEING successful at any one thing; rather, it’s about actually going for what moves you to action.
Another colleague (different from the one discussed above) asked me the other day when I would deem myself a successful coach. As I am usually ready with an answer at a moment’s notice, I was shocked to open my mouth and no words came tumbling out. I thought for a moment or two, half wondering if I should give an answer ticking off a number of clients and book deals that would make me feel successful. Though I knew this would likely be the typical answer, I instead chose to answer her with what I really felt to be MY truth.
“My success will be based on the triumphs of my clients,” I replied. “As my clients accomplish what he or she set out to do, and hopefully many times over for each one, I will feel a little more successful as a coach. It’s not about the money, it’s not about the number of clients or book deals…it’s about advocating for my clients’ successes, whatever those goals may be.”
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No, I do not have a nice Riesling to go with that cheese! I do, however, have a few questions for you: how do you define success? What does it look like for you? How do you think that picture will change over the next few years? Is it possible to define it your personal way and have a different answer ready for society?
It seems to me that some people believe success is based on one's net worth. "Oh, sure, of course he's successful--have you seen his house? And he drives a Bentley!" Externally, a person who fits this quick description would appear to be successful, correct? Perhaps he (or she) also believes himself to be successful...until he considers the rest of his life and how he would trade at least some of the "benjamins in his bank account" (that could be a rap song) to find a lasting relationship.
Actually, I could list other various definitions of success but have decided to stick with the financial one for now. I was thinking last week about a colleague's ideas on success. She is interested in working with people who meet her financial measuring stick (in this case, the clients must make at least a million dollars). Perhaps I'm simply jealous that I can't be a client (kidding!) but this irks me for some reason. I spent a few days in the last month trying to pinpoint my issues with this particular person's business plan and it hit me one night: she views success in such a one-dimensional way and the fact is, that so many hard-working individuals who are successful in their own right would not even be considered for my colleague’s consulting firm. Now, I understand from an entrepreneurial perspective that a business person has a right to choose his or her own niche, but I do believe the defining success solely on a person’s bank account just seems downright harsh.
The truth is, success is relative—relative to each person’s unique situation, characteristics, experiences and goals. My definition of success will not be the same as yours, or the guy in the car next to you or the woman sitting at the table next to you at dinner on Saturday night. However, that’s what makes each of us exceptional —my goals are unique to me and my life but as long as I strive to accomplish those goals, I am successful. That’s correct: “so long as I strive”, as opposed to “so long as I reach” those goals is exactly what I meant to type. Perhaps this is only my opinion (again, a belief relative to my own perspective), but success is not necessarily about actually BEING successful at any one thing; rather, it’s about actually going for what moves you to action.
Another colleague (different from the one discussed above) asked me the other day when I would deem myself a successful coach. As I am usually ready with an answer at a moment’s notice, I was shocked to open my mouth and no words came tumbling out. I thought for a moment or two, half wondering if I should give an answer ticking off a number of clients and book deals that would make me feel successful. Though I knew this would likely be the typical answer, I instead chose to answer her with what I really felt to be MY truth.
“My success will be based on the triumphs of my clients,” I replied. “As my clients accomplish what he or she set out to do, and hopefully many times over for each one, I will feel a little more successful as a coach. It’s not about the money, it’s not about the number of clients or book deals…it’s about advocating for my clients’ successes, whatever those goals may be.”
---------------------------
No, I do not have a nice Riesling to go with that cheese! I do, however, have a few questions for you: how do you define success? What does it look like for you? How do you think that picture will change over the next few years? Is it possible to define it your personal way and have a different answer ready for society?
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