I harbor within--we all do--a vision of our highest self, a dream of what I could and should become. May I pursue this vision, labor to make real my dream. Thus will I give meaning to my life.

--Anonymous

Friday, November 13, 2009

...and I'm back!

First things first--my deepest apologies to everyone (and I use that term loosely) for going AWOL. I was not truly missing nor did I abandon my coaching. Quite the opposite actually—I was so lucky to have found something I love to do that I just became overwhelmingly busy actually doing it. Between clients, workshops and being hired as a full-time consultant for a non-profit, I've been left with little time to write (another thing I love to do).

Though it's not quite resolution time yet (what with Turkey Day, Chrisnukahwanza and a surplus of sappy holiday commercials left before New Year's Eve), I am putting it out there in cyberspace that I resolve to keep up with my blogging/personal writing more in the future. It's that important to me and I recognize the void I feel since I've not had time to write. Someone please hold me to this, okay? Someone? Anyone?

Now that I've taken care of explaining my absence and promise it won't happen again, I do want to discuss the importance of goal-setting and the ways to handle getting there. First off, let me share a little something personal (and this does relate): Tuesday was a big day for me. On Tuesday, little ol' me walked into a hotel in midtown Atlanta and had the pleasure of presenting a series of employment workshops as part of a larger city-wide initiative. I was actually quite flattered they asked me to present and shocked when they asked what I charge for such things. Charge? As in, they were going to pay me to get up in front of people and talk about something I already know a lot about?

Clearly, I am new at this. However, I think that's what made me so happy about the whole situation. People are paid to speak all the time, but I imagine those people to be, you know, adults. And experts (of which it takes ten years or 10,000 hours to be one—in any field). After they asked me my rate, I blurted out a ridiculous number and they actually agreed to it, I picked myself up off the floor (luckily, this was over the phone), thanked the government official and sat down to think this over: Am I an expert in what I do? Clearly, I've not been doing this for ten years but I have worked in the field for a significant period of time (and picked up a large percentage of those hours while working 80 hour weeks at Lehman Brothers). While I've probably not hit the "expert" mark yet, I was thrilled that someone recognized my passion for career coaching. What's more, I was shocked to know that I was asked to speak just a little over a year since formalizing my company. I feel very flattered and appreciative for this to have occurred.

You may be wondering, ""Emily, this is great but you said this was about goals--did you forget about that?" No, and I'm getting there. Though I likely didn't say it much last year, a goal of mine was to get speaking gigs. Originally, I wanted to network with different organizations and coerce them into letting me speak (typically unpaid since I figured I'd sign up clients and just charge them). I did have a few speaking gigs last year but nothing significant until I started working at The Sullivan Center. I didn't foresee a full-time consulting gig for ReFresh Your Step but signed on once I recognized how doing so would help me grow my company.

Do me a favor--please re-read the last sentence, as it serves to illustrate this point: Goals are a great point on your career map but, as with Mapquest/Google map routes, there's never just one way to get there. Though I didn't fully realize it at the time, signing on to work at The Sullivan Center may not have been an original part of my plan but it did help me to grow—and create additional opportunities for—my business. Rather than taking a direct path to my goal of "having more paid clients and speaking more," I decided to jump off the paved road and meander through the countryside (just a little visualization for you). I got to where I wanted to be and likely saved time avoiding the traffic jam caused by a million other career coaches aiming to get the same speaking gigs.

Shall I be concise at this point? Set your goals, but be flexible in how you get to them. While you may have one set idea of the "best" way to reach said goals, allow that to be your guiding light while you keep your eyes out for alternative paths. They may not always pop up, but knowing that you CAN be flexible may very well help you to recognize those "other" ways when they do appear. You may end up having to take a leap of faith but perhaps that leap is exactly what you need to get to where you want to be.

At this juncture, I have a whole slew of topics for upcoming posts so I hope you continue to check in regularly--they'll be up! Until then, happy goal-setting!

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What goals do you have right now? What is your "optimal" way of getting there? Alternatively, what others ways could you reach the goals? Perhaps thinking about the answers to these questions will assist you in figuring out next steps for the future!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Escapism

I used to be a journalist, meaning I followed the world’s news like some people follow the stock market (incidentally, I also followed financial headlines like some people follow the regular news). Perhaps I grew to be more sensitive to current events…or the number of atrocities across the continents just increased exponentially; regardless, I felt constantly barraged by stories of war, famine, terrorism and a startlingly high number of shark attacks. I decided to take a break from obsessing over CNN.com, lest I never travel or go into the ocean ever again.

After going semi-cold-turkey on my news fixation back in 2004, I found that I needed to fill my time with updates about some form of current events and it was around this time that I discovered E! Although I can easily hold a conversation with people about the latest headlines from the around the world, I’m also very happy discussing the god-awful dresses from Sunday’s Oscars.

Aside: Debbie Matenopoulos, if you ever read this and need someone to fill in for you on Fashion Police, please have your people call my people (aka, hit me up on the cell). Same thing goes for you, Giuliana Rancic and E! News.

The truth is, I used to feel somewhat ashamed of my growing interest in the world of celebrity gossip; however, I then realized that though I’ve not yet become a fan of TMZ and I do not have a subscription to US Weekly, keeping up with the latest stories from Tinseltown is my escape from reality.

On a related note, many of my friends and colleagues comment that they think I work 24-7; the truth is, I do work a lot but I have found it increasingly important that I take time away from the many emails, grad school papers, upcoming presentations and other assorted tasks on my to-do list. While I have tapped into my inner diva-wanna-be via E! and other similar outlets, I encourage everyone out there to find what it is that allows he or she to escape from reality and spend some time doing something for fun. Whether it’s a weekly golf game with buddies, shopping with friends, lounging around with a great chick novel or just catching up on American Idol, do it. Drop the ball on your work, spend some time doing something you love (even if you know it’s not the “respectable” thing to do) and take some time for yourself.

You may be wondering why a career coach would a) publically announce her love for Gossip Girl—er, I mean E! (though you now know my other form escapism) and b) encourage other people to do the same. Here’s why: letting work go for awhile and doing something that you enjoy will relax you…and your overworked brain/body. The result? You’ll return to reality with more energy and a brain ready to tackle your to-do list with a renewed sense of vigor.

In the end, all those tasks on your list will be met and accomplished from a healthier mindset…and you’ll still be spending some time doing a few things you truly love to do.

Now for the big question—does anyone else think that Angelina Jolie’s dress at the Oscars was awesome, while Jennifer Aniston’s looked like a four-year-old attacked it with a glitter pen?
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Why else could taking time for your favorite activities be beneficial? What do you like to do to blow off some steam? What changes do you notice when you do and do not take the necessary breaks from work?

Monday, February 16, 2009

Pressure Cooker

In the last few months, I have thought an awful lot about the definition of success. Sadly, the internal discussion has resulted in an increase of stress in my external life. I am writing today's post to clear up my own thoughts on success and perhaps gauge yours as well.

It seems to me that some people believe success is based on one's net worth. "Oh, sure, of course he's successful--have you seen his house? And he drives a Bentley!" Externally, a person who fits this quick description would appear to be successful, correct? Perhaps he (or she) also believes himself to be successful...until he considers the rest of his life and how he would trade at least some of the "benjamins in his bank account" (that could be a rap song) to find a lasting relationship.

Actually, I could list other various definitions of success but have decided to stick with the financial one for now. I was thinking last week about a colleague's ideas on success. She is interested in working with people who meet her financial measuring stick (in this case, the clients must make at least a million dollars). Perhaps I'm simply jealous that I can't be a client (kidding!) but this irks me for some reason. I spent a few days in the last month trying to pinpoint my issues with this particular person's business plan and it hit me one night: she views success in such a one-dimensional way and the fact is, that so many hard-working individuals who are successful in their own right would not even be considered for my colleague’s consulting firm. Now, I understand from an entrepreneurial perspective that a business person has a right to choose his or her own niche, but I do believe the defining success solely on a person’s bank account just seems downright harsh.

The truth is, success is relative—relative to each person’s unique situation, characteristics, experiences and goals. My definition of success will not be the same as yours, or the guy in the car next to you or the woman sitting at the table next to you at dinner on Saturday night. However, that’s what makes each of us exceptional —my goals are unique to me and my life but as long as I strive to accomplish those goals, I am successful. That’s correct: “so long as I strive”, as opposed to “so long as I reach” those goals is exactly what I meant to type. Perhaps this is only my opinion (again, a belief relative to my own perspective), but success is not necessarily about actually BEING successful at any one thing; rather, it’s about actually going for what moves you to action.

Another colleague (different from the one discussed above) asked me the other day when I would deem myself a successful coach. As I am usually ready with an answer at a moment’s notice, I was shocked to open my mouth and no words came tumbling out. I thought for a moment or two, half wondering if I should give an answer ticking off a number of clients and book deals that would make me feel successful. Though I knew this would likely be the typical answer, I instead chose to answer her with what I really felt to be MY truth.

“My success will be based on the triumphs of my clients,” I replied. “As my clients accomplish what he or she set out to do, and hopefully many times over for each one, I will feel a little more successful as a coach. It’s not about the money, it’s not about the number of clients or book deals…it’s about advocating for my clients’ successes, whatever those goals may be.”

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No, I do not have a nice Riesling to go with that cheese! I do, however, have a few questions for you: how do you define success? What does it look like for you? How do you think that picture will change over the next few years? Is it possible to define it your personal way and have a different answer ready for society?

Monday, January 26, 2009

The Powerful Truth

January 26th, 2009 may henceforth be known as Bloody Monday or Job Massacre Monday: according to CNN.com and a few other sources, 71,400 job losses were announced today. I wish there was an extra zero in there or I had simply typed it incorrectly but no: seventy-one THOUSAND four-hundred job cuts were announced in one day.

Boggles the mind, doesn't it?

Here are a few of the Fortune 500 companies that announced layoffs today (with the number of jobs in parentheses):

-Caterpillar (20,000)
-Pfizer--pre-merger (8,190)
-Pfizer/Wyeth--post-merger (18,000)
-Sprint Nextel (8,000)
-Home Depot (7,000).

For the unabridged list, please click here:

Economists, such as Rebecca Braeu at John Hancock Financial Services, predict that this is "the tip of the iceberg" when it comes to massive layoffs at other major companies (please click here for the article).

If this grim prediction doesn't frighten you and send you running for cover, then continue reading (if you're already shaking in your boots and/or have already lost your job, I suggest turning on fluff TV for a few minutes, as it does wonders for lightening the mood. A personal favorite is Gossip Girl). Still there? How courageous! Here goes: By some analysts' projections, the unemployment rate could potentially hit 10 percent by later this year or next year.

Ready to check out of 2009 and re-join the human race/working world in 2010? Before doing so, I ask you to consider this oft-used but ever-true aphorism:

Knowledge is power.

Yes, you may lose your job this year (if you have not lost it already). No, you may not get a bonus or a pay-raise, no matter how much you've earned and deserved it. Finally, yes, the more you know about what may happen and how you can handle it, the better off you will be in the long run.

Often, people are well aware of what may happen in the real world but believe that by ignoring it, the real world will exist without them in it. I am guilty of succumbing to this situation (Gossip Girl, remember?); however, while it's a temporary salve for maintaining one's sanity in the face of hardship, perhaps it may be advantageous to admit challenges in the road ahead and do what's necessary to prepare for them.

At this time, I suggest writing down (or at least thinking about) your particular situation: Do you still have a position? If so, do you think it's safe? If you feel that you may lose your job, what can you do to either save it or how can you prepare for the job search? If you've already lost your job, have you started looking for new positions yet and, if so, how is it going so far?

In answering these questions, what strategies may help you as you move forward? Have you thought about the benefits of re-branding yourself and your current experience? Also, have you set mini-goals as you reached for a bigger goal (career or non-career related)? The bottom line is the more you know about where you are now and how it fits into the larger realm, the better of you'll be in preparing for the future.

At this stage of the game (if you can really call the economic/job crisis/recession a game, in which case it would be "Trouble"), knowledge really is power. You can continue living in the make-believe world of "If I don't think about it, it won't happen to me" or you can realize that the real world may very well come knocking one day and the more you've prepared yourself and your strategy, the better off you'll be. That strategy may evolve as circumstances change but self-awareness will go a long way in staying afloat throughout the Job Massacre that will be 2009.
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How are you faring with the current job market? Have you thought about what strategies may work for you as you move forward? Have you thought about how coaching help you change your perspective and assist in goal-setting as well as re-branding?

Friday, January 9, 2009

Job Loss & Jerry Maguire

From today's Wall Street Journal: "The economy lost 2.6 million jobs in 2008, government figures showed, the most since World War II ended in 1945. Nearly two million of those losses were in the last four months alone, a sign that the recession accelerated as the financial crisis intensified, and should drag on well into the new year" (see below for the full article).

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123150742539367897.html?mod=djemalertNEWS

One might look at the title to today's post and wonder how I might actually link job loss to the movie Jerry Maguire, though I will go ahead and say that it has nothing to do with crazed movie actors jumping on couches and/or screaming at Matt Lauer (I don't recommend either, especially if you'd like to maintain your job and/or dignity).

Rather, I was watching Jerry Maguire the other night when one of the movie's more notable scenes popped up. Recall, if you will, Tom Cruise (fully-clothed) and Cuba Gooding, Jr. (sans clothing) in the football locker room and Cruise's stressed out character starts to lose it with Gooding Jr.'s demanding one. As the two begin bickering forth, Maguire spits out the following line:

"Help me help you," he says. "Help ME help YOU!"

I shut off the TV after that scene but the line stayed with me. Help me help you. Though the movie suggests a different connotation, I believe there is another interpreation--one this strongly linked to the very foundation of coaching.

As a coach, my primary goal is to work with my clients to help them discover whatever it is that would make their lives happier and more balanced. However, the client must truly be open for this kind of relationship; i.e., he or she must allow the coach to really help.

For our generation, at least, this is a time of unprecedented job uncertainty and while the situation is a cause of concern for many people, others are using the time to look inward and figure out what they they'd like to be doing in the long-term. Although unemployement is on the rise, so is the number of people turning to coaches looking for long-term career help. The coaches at ReFresh Your Step are here to help you look through the murky present and into a bright future.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Are You Going to Finish Strong?

Happy New Year and welcome to 2009--to be honest, 2008 was not a favorite year for many people so may we bid it adieu and look ahead to a bright and exciting new year, no matter what the economy and job market has in store!

I had a few other ideas in mind for today's post but then I received this interesting--and inspiring--video from my good friend Noah. Though I am not usually one to post videos, send email chain letters (unless, of course, I *want* my crush to call me in the next five minutes) or engage in any such similar forms of communication, this particular video really hit home. Please see below:

http://www.guzer.com/videos/are-you-going-to-finish-strong.php

Each one of us has our own unique situations that may hold us back from either pursuing what we dream of or simply make life more challenging; however, I would be hardpressed to hear of anyone taking on life with such gusto and self-effacing humor than Nick Vujicic. I imagine he's not always so chipper but the fact that he has made a name for himself by facing what's obviously a difficult situation leads me to believe that each one of us can also finish strong in our own lives.

As I personally enter 2009, I know I have a great many obstacles before me but will try to keep everything in perspective--I've chosen to start my own company and know the hard work I've put into it and will continue to do so for the simple sake of following my own passion and career path. Additionally, I am still relatively new to the Atlanta area but know that the key to my personal happiness is to continue getting out there and building a network of friends, even if it means not being up in New York quite as much as I'd like. Lastly (for now), I am working on a few separate projects that, while they pose immense challenges, I know that actually finishing them will lead to an amazing sense of accomplishment further down the road. 2008 was tough but I hope 2009 is a banner year for everyone--let the coaches at ReFresh Your Step work with you to make this year your best yet!
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How did Nick's video impact you? As you enter 2009, what goals have you set for yourself and, moreover, how can we help you reach them?