In the last few months, I have thought an awful lot about the definition of success. Sadly, the internal discussion has resulted in an increase of stress in my external life. I am writing today's post to clear up my own thoughts on success and perhaps gauge yours as well.
It seems to me that some people believe success is based on one's net worth. "Oh, sure, of course he's successful--have you seen his house? And he drives a Bentley!" Externally, a person who fits this quick description would appear to be successful, correct? Perhaps he (or she) also believes himself to be successful...until he considers the rest of his life and how he would trade at least some of the "benjamins in his bank account" (that could be a rap song) to find a lasting relationship.
Actually, I could list other various definitions of success but have decided to stick with the financial one for now. I was thinking last week about a colleague's ideas on success. She is interested in working with people who meet her financial measuring stick (in this case, the clients must make at least a million dollars). Perhaps I'm simply jealous that I can't be a client (kidding!) but this irks me for some reason. I spent a few days in the last month trying to pinpoint my issues with this particular person's business plan and it hit me one night: she views success in such a one-dimensional way and the fact is, that so many hard-working individuals who are successful in their own right would not even be considered for my colleague’s consulting firm. Now, I understand from an entrepreneurial perspective that a business person has a right to choose his or her own niche, but I do believe the defining success solely on a person’s bank account just seems downright harsh.
The truth is, success is relative—relative to each person’s unique situation, characteristics, experiences and goals. My definition of success will not be the same as yours, or the guy in the car next to you or the woman sitting at the table next to you at dinner on Saturday night. However, that’s what makes each of us exceptional —my goals are unique to me and my life but as long as I strive to accomplish those goals, I am successful. That’s correct: “so long as I strive”, as opposed to “so long as I reach” those goals is exactly what I meant to type. Perhaps this is only my opinion (again, a belief relative to my own perspective), but success is not necessarily about actually BEING successful at any one thing; rather, it’s about actually going for what moves you to action.
Another colleague (different from the one discussed above) asked me the other day when I would deem myself a successful coach. As I am usually ready with an answer at a moment’s notice, I was shocked to open my mouth and no words came tumbling out. I thought for a moment or two, half wondering if I should give an answer ticking off a number of clients and book deals that would make me feel successful. Though I knew this would likely be the typical answer, I instead chose to answer her with what I really felt to be MY truth.
“My success will be based on the triumphs of my clients,” I replied. “As my clients accomplish what he or she set out to do, and hopefully many times over for each one, I will feel a little more successful as a coach. It’s not about the money, it’s not about the number of clients or book deals…it’s about advocating for my clients’ successes, whatever those goals may be.”
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No, I do not have a nice Riesling to go with that cheese! I do, however, have a few questions for you: how do you define success? What does it look like for you? How do you think that picture will change over the next few years? Is it possible to define it your personal way and have a different answer ready for society?
Monday, February 16, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
The Powerful Truth
January 26th, 2009 may henceforth be known as Bloody Monday or Job Massacre Monday: according to CNN.com and a few other sources, 71,400 job losses were announced today. I wish there was an extra zero in there or I had simply typed it incorrectly but no: seventy-one THOUSAND four-hundred job cuts were announced in one day.
Boggles the mind, doesn't it?
Here are a few of the Fortune 500 companies that announced layoffs today (with the number of jobs in parentheses):
-Caterpillar (20,000)
-Pfizer--pre-merger (8,190)
-Pfizer/Wyeth--post-merger (18,000)
-Sprint Nextel (8,000)
-Home Depot (7,000).
For the unabridged list, please click here:
Economists, such as Rebecca Braeu at John Hancock Financial Services, predict that this is "the tip of the iceberg" when it comes to massive layoffs at other major companies (please click here for the article).
If this grim prediction doesn't frighten you and send you running for cover, then continue reading (if you're already shaking in your boots and/or have already lost your job, I suggest turning on fluff TV for a few minutes, as it does wonders for lightening the mood. A personal favorite is Gossip Girl). Still there? How courageous! Here goes: By some analysts' projections, the unemployment rate could potentially hit 10 percent by later this year or next year.
Ready to check out of 2009 and re-join the human race/working world in 2010? Before doing so, I ask you to consider this oft-used but ever-true aphorism:
Knowledge is power.
Yes, you may lose your job this year (if you have not lost it already). No, you may not get a bonus or a pay-raise, no matter how much you've earned and deserved it. Finally, yes, the more you know about what may happen and how you can handle it, the better off you will be in the long run.
Often, people are well aware of what may happen in the real world but believe that by ignoring it, the real world will exist without them in it. I am guilty of succumbing to this situation (Gossip Girl, remember?); however, while it's a temporary salve for maintaining one's sanity in the face of hardship, perhaps it may be advantageous to admit challenges in the road ahead and do what's necessary to prepare for them.
At this time, I suggest writing down (or at least thinking about) your particular situation: Do you still have a position? If so, do you think it's safe? If you feel that you may lose your job, what can you do to either save it or how can you prepare for the job search? If you've already lost your job, have you started looking for new positions yet and, if so, how is it going so far?
In answering these questions, what strategies may help you as you move forward? Have you thought about the benefits of re-branding yourself and your current experience? Also, have you set mini-goals as you reached for a bigger goal (career or non-career related)? The bottom line is the more you know about where you are now and how it fits into the larger realm, the better of you'll be in preparing for the future.
At this stage of the game (if you can really call the economic/job crisis/recession a game, in which case it would be "Trouble"), knowledge really is power. You can continue living in the make-believe world of "If I don't think about it, it won't happen to me" or you can realize that the real world may very well come knocking one day and the more you've prepared yourself and your strategy, the better off you'll be. That strategy may evolve as circumstances change but self-awareness will go a long way in staying afloat throughout the Job Massacre that will be 2009.
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How are you faring with the current job market? Have you thought about what strategies may work for you as you move forward? Have you thought about how coaching help you change your perspective and assist in goal-setting as well as re-branding?
Boggles the mind, doesn't it?
Here are a few of the Fortune 500 companies that announced layoffs today (with the number of jobs in parentheses):
-Caterpillar (20,000)
-Pfizer--pre-merger (8,190)
-Pfizer/Wyeth--post-merger (18,000)
-Sprint Nextel (8,000)
-Home Depot (7,000).
For the unabridged list, please click here:
Economists, such as Rebecca Braeu at John Hancock Financial Services, predict that this is "the tip of the iceberg" when it comes to massive layoffs at other major companies (please click here for the article).
If this grim prediction doesn't frighten you and send you running for cover, then continue reading (if you're already shaking in your boots and/or have already lost your job, I suggest turning on fluff TV for a few minutes, as it does wonders for lightening the mood. A personal favorite is Gossip Girl). Still there? How courageous! Here goes: By some analysts' projections, the unemployment rate could potentially hit 10 percent by later this year or next year.
Ready to check out of 2009 and re-join the human race/working world in 2010? Before doing so, I ask you to consider this oft-used but ever-true aphorism:
Knowledge is power.
Yes, you may lose your job this year (if you have not lost it already). No, you may not get a bonus or a pay-raise, no matter how much you've earned and deserved it. Finally, yes, the more you know about what may happen and how you can handle it, the better off you will be in the long run.
Often, people are well aware of what may happen in the real world but believe that by ignoring it, the real world will exist without them in it. I am guilty of succumbing to this situation (Gossip Girl, remember?); however, while it's a temporary salve for maintaining one's sanity in the face of hardship, perhaps it may be advantageous to admit challenges in the road ahead and do what's necessary to prepare for them.
At this time, I suggest writing down (or at least thinking about) your particular situation: Do you still have a position? If so, do you think it's safe? If you feel that you may lose your job, what can you do to either save it or how can you prepare for the job search? If you've already lost your job, have you started looking for new positions yet and, if so, how is it going so far?
In answering these questions, what strategies may help you as you move forward? Have you thought about the benefits of re-branding yourself and your current experience? Also, have you set mini-goals as you reached for a bigger goal (career or non-career related)? The bottom line is the more you know about where you are now and how it fits into the larger realm, the better of you'll be in preparing for the future.
At this stage of the game (if you can really call the economic/job crisis/recession a game, in which case it would be "Trouble"), knowledge really is power. You can continue living in the make-believe world of "If I don't think about it, it won't happen to me" or you can realize that the real world may very well come knocking one day and the more you've prepared yourself and your strategy, the better off you'll be. That strategy may evolve as circumstances change but self-awareness will go a long way in staying afloat throughout the Job Massacre that will be 2009.
------------------------
How are you faring with the current job market? Have you thought about what strategies may work for you as you move forward? Have you thought about how coaching help you change your perspective and assist in goal-setting as well as re-branding?
Friday, January 9, 2009
Job Loss & Jerry Maguire
From today's Wall Street Journal: "The economy lost 2.6 million jobs in 2008, government figures showed, the most since World War II ended in 1945. Nearly two million of those losses were in the last four months alone, a sign that the recession accelerated as the financial crisis intensified, and should drag on well into the new year" (see below for the full article).
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123150742539367897.html?mod=djemalertNEWS
One might look at the title to today's post and wonder how I might actually link job loss to the movie Jerry Maguire, though I will go ahead and say that it has nothing to do with crazed movie actors jumping on couches and/or screaming at Matt Lauer (I don't recommend either, especially if you'd like to maintain your job and/or dignity).
Rather, I was watching Jerry Maguire the other night when one of the movie's more notable scenes popped up. Recall, if you will, Tom Cruise (fully-clothed) and Cuba Gooding, Jr. (sans clothing) in the football locker room and Cruise's stressed out character starts to lose it with Gooding Jr.'s demanding one. As the two begin bickering forth, Maguire spits out the following line:
"Help me help you," he says. "Help ME help YOU!"
I shut off the TV after that scene but the line stayed with me. Help me help you. Though the movie suggests a different connotation, I believe there is another interpreation--one this strongly linked to the very foundation of coaching.
As a coach, my primary goal is to work with my clients to help them discover whatever it is that would make their lives happier and more balanced. However, the client must truly be open for this kind of relationship; i.e., he or she must allow the coach to really help.
For our generation, at least, this is a time of unprecedented job uncertainty and while the situation is a cause of concern for many people, others are using the time to look inward and figure out what they they'd like to be doing in the long-term. Although unemployement is on the rise, so is the number of people turning to coaches looking for long-term career help. The coaches at ReFresh Your Step are here to help you look through the murky present and into a bright future.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123150742539367897.html?mod=djemalertNEWS
One might look at the title to today's post and wonder how I might actually link job loss to the movie Jerry Maguire, though I will go ahead and say that it has nothing to do with crazed movie actors jumping on couches and/or screaming at Matt Lauer (I don't recommend either, especially if you'd like to maintain your job and/or dignity).
Rather, I was watching Jerry Maguire the other night when one of the movie's more notable scenes popped up. Recall, if you will, Tom Cruise (fully-clothed) and Cuba Gooding, Jr. (sans clothing) in the football locker room and Cruise's stressed out character starts to lose it with Gooding Jr.'s demanding one. As the two begin bickering forth, Maguire spits out the following line:
"Help me help you," he says. "Help ME help YOU!"
I shut off the TV after that scene but the line stayed with me. Help me help you. Though the movie suggests a different connotation, I believe there is another interpreation--one this strongly linked to the very foundation of coaching.
As a coach, my primary goal is to work with my clients to help them discover whatever it is that would make their lives happier and more balanced. However, the client must truly be open for this kind of relationship; i.e., he or she must allow the coach to really help.
For our generation, at least, this is a time of unprecedented job uncertainty and while the situation is a cause of concern for many people, others are using the time to look inward and figure out what they they'd like to be doing in the long-term. Although unemployement is on the rise, so is the number of people turning to coaches looking for long-term career help. The coaches at ReFresh Your Step are here to help you look through the murky present and into a bright future.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Are You Going to Finish Strong?
Happy New Year and welcome to 2009--to be honest, 2008 was not a favorite year for many people so may we bid it adieu and look ahead to a bright and exciting new year, no matter what the economy and job market has in store!
I had a few other ideas in mind for today's post but then I received this interesting--and inspiring--video from my good friend Noah. Though I am not usually one to post videos, send email chain letters (unless, of course, I *want* my crush to call me in the next five minutes) or engage in any such similar forms of communication, this particular video really hit home. Please see below:
http://www.guzer.com/videos/are-you-going-to-finish-strong.php
Each one of us has our own unique situations that may hold us back from either pursuing what we dream of or simply make life more challenging; however, I would be hardpressed to hear of anyone taking on life with such gusto and self-effacing humor than Nick Vujicic. I imagine he's not always so chipper but the fact that he has made a name for himself by facing what's obviously a difficult situation leads me to believe that each one of us can also finish strong in our own lives.
As I personally enter 2009, I know I have a great many obstacles before me but will try to keep everything in perspective--I've chosen to start my own company and know the hard work I've put into it and will continue to do so for the simple sake of following my own passion and career path. Additionally, I am still relatively new to the Atlanta area but know that the key to my personal happiness is to continue getting out there and building a network of friends, even if it means not being up in New York quite as much as I'd like. Lastly (for now), I am working on a few separate projects that, while they pose immense challenges, I know that actually finishing them will lead to an amazing sense of accomplishment further down the road. 2008 was tough but I hope 2009 is a banner year for everyone--let the coaches at ReFresh Your Step work with you to make this year your best yet!
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How did Nick's video impact you? As you enter 2009, what goals have you set for yourself and, moreover, how can we help you reach them?
I had a few other ideas in mind for today's post but then I received this interesting--and inspiring--video from my good friend Noah. Though I am not usually one to post videos, send email chain letters (unless, of course, I *want* my crush to call me in the next five minutes) or engage in any such similar forms of communication, this particular video really hit home. Please see below:
http://www.guzer.com/videos/are-you-going-to-finish-strong.php
Each one of us has our own unique situations that may hold us back from either pursuing what we dream of or simply make life more challenging; however, I would be hardpressed to hear of anyone taking on life with such gusto and self-effacing humor than Nick Vujicic. I imagine he's not always so chipper but the fact that he has made a name for himself by facing what's obviously a difficult situation leads me to believe that each one of us can also finish strong in our own lives.
As I personally enter 2009, I know I have a great many obstacles before me but will try to keep everything in perspective--I've chosen to start my own company and know the hard work I've put into it and will continue to do so for the simple sake of following my own passion and career path. Additionally, I am still relatively new to the Atlanta area but know that the key to my personal happiness is to continue getting out there and building a network of friends, even if it means not being up in New York quite as much as I'd like. Lastly (for now), I am working on a few separate projects that, while they pose immense challenges, I know that actually finishing them will lead to an amazing sense of accomplishment further down the road. 2008 was tough but I hope 2009 is a banner year for everyone--let the coaches at ReFresh Your Step work with you to make this year your best yet!
-------------------------------
How did Nick's video impact you? As you enter 2009, what goals have you set for yourself and, moreover, how can we help you reach them?
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Wall Street Journal's Latest Push for Career Coaches
When it comes to business/professional advice, I consider the Wall Street Journal my Bible--a constant source of the top suggestions from talented writers the world over. I know there are other strong sources of similar wisdom but I always prefer this particular modicum of news.
In the last few months, I've noticed an increase in their advice to readers on the advantages of hiring a career coach and decided to actually post today's mention. The blurb below is from the WSJ's 12/31/2008 article titled, "How to Fix Your Life in 2009" and I've also included the URL if you'd like to read their other questions/answers.
Problem: Your job hunt is hitting a dead end.
Solution: Start by researching your online reputation. Enter your name into search engines to see what employers might find. If you have a profile on a social-networking site, such as Facebook or MySpace, be sure to remove any inappropriate photos or comments. Invest time in networking: Studies show that most jobs are filled through referrals. Inform friends, family, former colleagues, alumni, fellow parishioners and others that you're looking for work and that you'd welcome their help. Attend business events, such as industry conferences and seminars that cater to your career field. Create profiles on career-related networking sites, such as LinkedIn, ExecuNet and Plaxo, and participate in discussion boards to develop online relationships.
Meanwhile, consider hiring a career coach who can critique your résumé and interviewing skills and suggest ways to improve them.
—Sarah E. Needleman
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123068308029744121.html
In addition to providing these resources, coaches at ReFresh Your Step work with each client to ensure he or she is embarking on the career path most suitable for them. We know it takes time and effort to get to this point but feel strongly in the necessity to do so.
Despite the constant influx of news on a negative econommic/career outlook for next year, we believe that spending this time looking inward and working on a plan for both career and personal goals will help clients exponentially. Have a wonderful New Year's celebration and we look forward to working with you to make 2009 your best year yet!
In the last few months, I've noticed an increase in their advice to readers on the advantages of hiring a career coach and decided to actually post today's mention. The blurb below is from the WSJ's 12/31/2008 article titled, "How to Fix Your Life in 2009" and I've also included the URL if you'd like to read their other questions/answers.
Problem: Your job hunt is hitting a dead end.
Solution: Start by researching your online reputation. Enter your name into search engines to see what employers might find. If you have a profile on a social-networking site, such as Facebook or MySpace, be sure to remove any inappropriate photos or comments. Invest time in networking: Studies show that most jobs are filled through referrals. Inform friends, family, former colleagues, alumni, fellow parishioners and others that you're looking for work and that you'd welcome their help. Attend business events, such as industry conferences and seminars that cater to your career field. Create profiles on career-related networking sites, such as LinkedIn, ExecuNet and Plaxo, and participate in discussion boards to develop online relationships.
Meanwhile, consider hiring a career coach who can critique your résumé and interviewing skills and suggest ways to improve them.
—Sarah E. Needleman
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123068308029744121.html
In addition to providing these resources, coaches at ReFresh Your Step work with each client to ensure he or she is embarking on the career path most suitable for them. We know it takes time and effort to get to this point but feel strongly in the necessity to do so.
Despite the constant influx of news on a negative econommic/career outlook for next year, we believe that spending this time looking inward and working on a plan for both career and personal goals will help clients exponentially. Have a wonderful New Year's celebration and we look forward to working with you to make 2009 your best year yet!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
The Human Factor
I wish to go ahead and announce to the world that coaches, even the best ones, are not perfect. We make mistakes in our own life, whether it's accidentally running a red light (officer, I swear that was an accident!), leaving our blackberries in a movie theater or forgetting to call our best friend on her birthday. Today, I made the largest gaffe in recent personal history...
After rolling out of bed at a leisurely hour and calling my coach for our 10 am session, I got to work on my coaching site, pausing a few hours later to catch up on emails. As I was emailing my mother-in-law about flying into NY tomorrow, I double-checked the travel itinerary to verify my flight number. While scanning the page, my eyes came to rest on the date and then promptly bugged out of my head once I realized it said, “12/29” and not “12/30”. My eyes then darted over to the flight time and I nearly screamed when I saw the flight had departed nearly two hours prior.
A flurry of choice expletives later, I thought to myself, What now? I missed the flight but getting upset won’t help the situation. What are my options?
I do believe that taking a few minutes to calm down and begin thinking rationally helped me immensely: I was still annoyed at my own random absentmindedness but at least I was formulating a plan for getting up to New York rather than banging my head against a wall.
In the end, I called the airline, explained the issue and was able to go standby on a later flight. Rushing to the airport was a less than fun experience but I did make it up to New York and now have an extra day to spend with family and friends. Additionally, I spent some time on the plane ride thinking of what I learned from the experience: a deep breath and friendly voice can go a long way when dealing with airline people and even the best-laid plans can end up on the wrong page of our daily planner.
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Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? How did you handle it? Additionally, what other life lessons could you derive from this (or a similar) predicament?
After rolling out of bed at a leisurely hour and calling my coach for our 10 am session, I got to work on my coaching site, pausing a few hours later to catch up on emails. As I was emailing my mother-in-law about flying into NY tomorrow, I double-checked the travel itinerary to verify my flight number. While scanning the page, my eyes came to rest on the date and then promptly bugged out of my head once I realized it said, “12/29” and not “12/30”. My eyes then darted over to the flight time and I nearly screamed when I saw the flight had departed nearly two hours prior.
A flurry of choice expletives later, I thought to myself, What now? I missed the flight but getting upset won’t help the situation. What are my options?
I do believe that taking a few minutes to calm down and begin thinking rationally helped me immensely: I was still annoyed at my own random absentmindedness but at least I was formulating a plan for getting up to New York rather than banging my head against a wall.
In the end, I called the airline, explained the issue and was able to go standby on a later flight. Rushing to the airport was a less than fun experience but I did make it up to New York and now have an extra day to spend with family and friends. Additionally, I spent some time on the plane ride thinking of what I learned from the experience: a deep breath and friendly voice can go a long way when dealing with airline people and even the best-laid plans can end up on the wrong page of our daily planner.
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Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? How did you handle it? Additionally, what other life lessons could you derive from this (or a similar) predicament?
Thursday, December 18, 2008
The Coach's Coach
Since beginning the work necessary for launching ReFresh Your Step (an endeavor that apparently began long before I consciously realized it), I have received quite a bit of advice:
"Coach what you know."
"Separate out the professional coaching from life coaching."
"Charge everybody, even your friends."
and a personal favorite:
"Remember that you can coach from anywhere, including a pool on vacation in Tahiti."
Although this is certainly a mixed bag of advice (and I've made a point of absorbing very little of it into my actual practice), one pearl of wisdom stood out from the pack:
"Coaches should have coaches."
It actually seems somewhat intuitive, like saying, "Dentists should have dentists"; no matter how skilled a DDS you may be, it's particularly difficult to remove a pesky wisdom tooth or fill in your own cavity (for the record, I'd be impressed to hear of a dentist having done that to him or herself).
However, when I thought more about the notion of taking on my own coach, it hit me what the advisor meant: how can you really be a good coach without knowing what it's like to be coached? Furthermore, who better to advise you (both professionally and personally) than someone who is trained to help you the way you help others?
After deciding that I would, indeed, take on a coach, I embarked on a mission to find the one most suitable for my needs: a person who understood what I needed in a coach, who could listen well but also jump in at any point, someone who could call me out when necessary as well as a coach who would absolutely push me in the right direction (especially when I didn’t realize it). Most importantly, however, I wanted someone with whom I clicked.
I believe that finding the optimal coach (or boss, employee or therapist) is not unlike the dating process (when done right, of course). I spoke with a number of potential coaches, all of whom would have done an amazing job, but only one person seemed to understand me and my needs better than even myself. During our first-ever conversation, he made a suggestion for my business that had been staring me in the face but one I had not opened my eyes wide enough to see; it was at that point that I thought to myself, "I think I found the One."
Unfortunately, interviewing a number of potential coaches meant having to say no to people (I can barely afford one coach, let alone pay for all five). Regardless, I selected the coach and actually had my first session with him just this morning.
To be quite honest, I've been coaching people for a few months now but actually felt nervous for the first part of our discovery session. Was it because I knew what questions are coming and felt that I had to answer them the "right" way? I hope not and was definitely as truthful as I could be. Or was I nervous because I had honestly answered some deeply personal paperwork questions prior to our discovery session, therefore felt that this person I'd never met knew more about me than most close friends? I am sure that was part of my nerves; though, I felt the more authentic I was in answering those questions, the more I would get out of the coaching experience altogether. I did know, however, that at least some of my nerves were kicked up a notch after wondering if I really had picked the right coach (kind of like those brides and/or grooms who report feeling nervous in the days leading up to the wedding).
I must say that shortly into my discovery session, my nerves died down and I felt truly comfortable, knowing full-well that not only had I made the right decision in selecting this particular coach, but that experiencing coaching from the client side would be hugely beneficial to my own practice as a coach.
I expected to feel exhausted after the discovery session ended and was surprised at how but spirited and calm I was. Even though I committed to starting and finishing a major project by the end of the year, I felt (and still feel) that my coach helped me find a route to really launching ReFresh Your Step and keeping myself grounded in life along the way.
My overall objective with coaching young professionals and students is to help them define or redefine their lives (both professional and personally), as well as create a course of action for reaching their goals. In working with my own coach, I feel that I will be better-suited for doing so with my clients.
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What do you want most of your coaching experience? Honestly, it’s not the same for everyone (nor should it be). What one person wants out of coaching should be unique to that individual, though it takes some self-awareness on each person’s behalf to figure out his or her goals for the coach/client relationship.
"Coach what you know."
"Separate out the professional coaching from life coaching."
"Charge everybody, even your friends."
and a personal favorite:
"Remember that you can coach from anywhere, including a pool on vacation in Tahiti."
Although this is certainly a mixed bag of advice (and I've made a point of absorbing very little of it into my actual practice), one pearl of wisdom stood out from the pack:
"Coaches should have coaches."
It actually seems somewhat intuitive, like saying, "Dentists should have dentists"; no matter how skilled a DDS you may be, it's particularly difficult to remove a pesky wisdom tooth or fill in your own cavity (for the record, I'd be impressed to hear of a dentist having done that to him or herself).
However, when I thought more about the notion of taking on my own coach, it hit me what the advisor meant: how can you really be a good coach without knowing what it's like to be coached? Furthermore, who better to advise you (both professionally and personally) than someone who is trained to help you the way you help others?
After deciding that I would, indeed, take on a coach, I embarked on a mission to find the one most suitable for my needs: a person who understood what I needed in a coach, who could listen well but also jump in at any point, someone who could call me out when necessary as well as a coach who would absolutely push me in the right direction (especially when I didn’t realize it). Most importantly, however, I wanted someone with whom I clicked.
I believe that finding the optimal coach (or boss, employee or therapist) is not unlike the dating process (when done right, of course). I spoke with a number of potential coaches, all of whom would have done an amazing job, but only one person seemed to understand me and my needs better than even myself. During our first-ever conversation, he made a suggestion for my business that had been staring me in the face but one I had not opened my eyes wide enough to see; it was at that point that I thought to myself, "I think I found the One."
Unfortunately, interviewing a number of potential coaches meant having to say no to people (I can barely afford one coach, let alone pay for all five). Regardless, I selected the coach and actually had my first session with him just this morning.
To be quite honest, I've been coaching people for a few months now but actually felt nervous for the first part of our discovery session. Was it because I knew what questions are coming and felt that I had to answer them the "right" way? I hope not and was definitely as truthful as I could be. Or was I nervous because I had honestly answered some deeply personal paperwork questions prior to our discovery session, therefore felt that this person I'd never met knew more about me than most close friends? I am sure that was part of my nerves; though, I felt the more authentic I was in answering those questions, the more I would get out of the coaching experience altogether. I did know, however, that at least some of my nerves were kicked up a notch after wondering if I really had picked the right coach (kind of like those brides and/or grooms who report feeling nervous in the days leading up to the wedding).
I must say that shortly into my discovery session, my nerves died down and I felt truly comfortable, knowing full-well that not only had I made the right decision in selecting this particular coach, but that experiencing coaching from the client side would be hugely beneficial to my own practice as a coach.
I expected to feel exhausted after the discovery session ended and was surprised at how but spirited and calm I was. Even though I committed to starting and finishing a major project by the end of the year, I felt (and still feel) that my coach helped me find a route to really launching ReFresh Your Step and keeping myself grounded in life along the way.
My overall objective with coaching young professionals and students is to help them define or redefine their lives (both professional and personally), as well as create a course of action for reaching their goals. In working with my own coach, I feel that I will be better-suited for doing so with my clients.
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What do you want most of your coaching experience? Honestly, it’s not the same for everyone (nor should it be). What one person wants out of coaching should be unique to that individual, though it takes some self-awareness on each person’s behalf to figure out his or her goals for the coach/client relationship.
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